Scraps (n. ,fem., singular)

You know, I could so totally deal with that. (At least its not that “Special Level”)

After you die… Parallel Universe After death, you will continue to exist as if nothing has ever happened. You will continue to be yourself, but because you are in a parallel universe, some things will be different. You may not have married the same person, you might live in a different spot, but you will be the same person underneath it all and you will continue your life unaware that you ever died.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

This one’s pretty accurate I think

The Romantic Lover 54% partner focus, 61% aggressiveness, 45% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that: You prefer your romance and love to be traditional rather than daring or out-of-the-ordinary, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own. This places you in the Lover Style of: The Romantic Lover. The Romantic Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and is the hallmark of young love–the Romantic Lover often loves the idea of being in love, and being a wonderful lover, and so they try to bring their prospective partners every bit of joy or happiness that they can. They are the serenaders, and the ones to rent carriages in the park or take a gondola ride down a canal. The Romantic Lover is a treasure to find, though they sometimes are prone to being hurt if their advances are ignored or harshly rebuffed. In terms of physical love, the Romantic Lover can seem shy, but usually it is simply a by-product of wanting to be perfect for their lover, and often needs some extra encouragement and re-assurance to truly feel at ease. Given a special, intimate evening, and the right lover, the Romantic Lover can be a delight in bed. Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Classic Lover (most of all) or the Suave Lover, or the Exotic Lover. THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

And this is only slightly surprising, but in a good way lol

Modern, Cool Nerd 82 % Nerd, 69% Geek, 21% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd. Nerds didn’t use to be cool, but in the 90’s that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn’t quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and “geek is chic.” The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)! Congratulations! THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Barely time to make it through the to-do list, much less anything else. Tonight I’m almost ‘caught up’ (whatever that really means) but am too tired. I don’t get it people. Why can’t I exist on consecutive nights of only 4 hours sleep each? huh?

The pup is back as of tonight. V and I are exploring the feasibility of a joint custody arrangement, 2 weeks at a go. Hopefully it will work out and then we’ll both get what we want: him time with Abigail, me time sans limits. Plus it should work out for him to have her both over Lion’s Tourney weekend and possibly Gulf Wars week… meaning I don’t have to find an pup-sitter.

The gallery has been getting some use this week now that DeSoto and Art/Sci pictures are up. My bandwidth usage might actually register this month lol

Tonight, since I haven’t had energy for anything else, I painted something for i-fri this week, just in time for the deadline. It’s also in the gallery, but I think I’m going to try and post the image here too, if I can. Let’s see, shall we?

Did it work?
No.

Okay, I suppose I’m going to have to go through the wordpress upgrade to be able to upload images to post directly on the blog. For now see Deco Kitty here .

I really want to make it through ER tonight… time will tell!

For those of you whom I mentioned this to at dinner the other night, and others who may not have encountered this before, go to your c prompt (make the background black and the text white if you’r using Terminal on Mac OS X) and enter the following:

telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

Whee!

Geek central, but better them than me!

I got to thinking about them tonight, and how we tend to elevate certain things to ‘need’ status when really all they are are wants.

Basically we need oxygen to breathe, nourishment of some sort to feed our bodies, and shelter from the elements commonly considered as both housing and clothing. That’s it. All the rest is gravy.

Now, most people I think have a good handle on the difference between real needs and wants– but our language doesn’t always represent that. Frequently I’ll say something like ‘I can’t live without my cell phone/the internet/cable.’ Trivial things, but to me they make those bare necessities of life bearable, but really I could live without them if I had to.

Emotionally the difference between needs and wants can be blurred as well. I’m thinking that there are very few–if any–true emotional needs. I mean really. We need NOT to be subjected to harmful people or influences, but that’s something that can be worked around.

Why am I being all pithy and introspective? Well, I came close to saying something stupid, if only to myself. I almost said ‘I need’ about a person. Um, no. Why? Well, first of all its not accurate. I do not NEED any particular person for anything now that I am a relatively independent adult (the one exception would be my paycheck from my boss… but really that’s in order to supply two of the three basic needs for myself). Needing means you cannot live without. Now while this might sound harsh, I’m not trying to be, it’s just that needing someone implies obligating that someone.

I mean think about it: a baby needs a caregiver to supply his or her needs. Children need less and less caregiving as they grow into adult-hood and then (should be able to) rely on themselves. My dog needs me to be home to walk her at certain times and feed her. I am obligated by her need.

Now, I entered into that obligation freely of my own choice but it’s an obligation nonetheless. But my point here is that by ‘needing’ someone you are–if nothing else–asking them to accept that obligation, that burden of sorts that you cannot live without this person. Sometimes its a no-brainer and people are willing to accept the obligation with a happy heart, but it’s there no denying it.

I’m digressing a bit from my eventual point, but I swear I’m getting there in my own convoluted manner.

Anyway, I remember thinking about this back before I started dating again about what I really wanted. At first I went back to my automatic answer of ‘I need to be needed.’ Well, no. I want to be needed? Not even that. For the reasons stated above I don’t want someone to think they cannot live without me. Nor do I want to be that co-dependent ever again in my life. It may work for some people, but it’s not right for me. What I decided then, and still hold by, is that rather than needing or being needed by a particular person–rather than someone not being able to live without me–what I want, is someone to WANT me as much AS IF they needed me.

What’s the difference? Lots. That important distinction of need versus want. A need is instinctual, it’s inarguable, it’s life-dependent. A want is a desire, it’s a wish fulfilled, it’s something you would not choose to be without. That is the main thing–I don’t want an attraction that is some uncontrollable urge, I want to be a conscious choice.

And, for the record, I think I am. At this point in my life I have my needs accounted for and a vast majority of my wants, including being wanted in return. And I’m happy.

WoHoo! My new camera is now here! Wow that was quick. I’m so going to have to read the manual because o_O at all the buttons! I did figure out where the batteries and the memory card go, how to turn it on (and trust me, it’s not quite as simple as it might sound), how to set the time, and how to actually take a basic picture. Now you might think that’s all there is… um, no. I haven’t figured out how to view the pictures, how to record video (but I did find the audio input), how to judge card fill status or battery power, or what all the freaking symbols on the dials and buttons mean. But that’s okay, because I have plenty of time to learn.

Art/Sci is next weekend and while I could be panicked I did realize that I’m not that bad off. There are just the small details to fill in for the second page and then some touch-up work to be done on the first page, then re-write the documentation. It really shouldn’t be an issue. Oh, right, and framing it, which means I need to hit the art store this weekend. But all in all, I’m feeling pretty good about the prospect of getting it done.

Mon Amour is out of town this weekend…whatever will I do? Yeah, like that was going to be a problem; me, finding stuff to do? So I’m scrapbooking with Carole Friday night, hanging at All Saints with palmetto Saturday evening, possibly knitting at All Saints on Sunday afternoon and Art/Sci to finish during the in-between times. Miss him though I might (will), I will not be bored silly pining away for want of attention.

Wow, is this how parents feel when they send their kids off to summer camp?

I am furbaby-free for like a week and a half! V emailed me yesterday asking to get Abigail for a couple of days so I offered her next weekend since I’m already due out of town and I was sure Mom wouldn’t mind not having to watch her. Well, imagine my surprise when he offered to get her this week and keep her until I get back from Art/Sci!

Granted, the apartment is a WHOLE lot quieter without her here, but it’ll be nice not to have to worry about being home at times x,y and z to walk her, etc. Plus there is the benefit of being able to stretch out projects/supplies without the worry of pup-interference, a plus for the upcoming week. But the quiet might get to me, esp. at night when I’m trying to sleep, but I acclimate quickly so am not overly worried.

My baby brother turned 21 today. Wow…

I feel old. I remember when Mom brought him home from the hospital. I was 8 1/2.

I’ll be 30 in 3 months and 21 days. That’s a rather sobering thought at times.

So, since I mentioned it at dinner to friends, I’ll mention it here; cast it out into the universe as it were:
I’m hereby stating that I intend to stay in this apartment another year (when my lease renews this summer), at most two, and after that buy a home. I have no plans to remarry or start a family in the conventional sense (urban tribes notwithstanding lol), and I pay in rent very close to many people’s mortgages, so there’s really no reason not to take this next step. So I’ll take these many months to work on rebuilding my credit and start putting aside something, even a little bit, towards an eventual downpayment or new furniture or paint, whatever, for when that time comes. There. I said it. Guess I’ll have to really do it now

Yay! My pink wool came in today for my next Shinrone gown. So now the question becomes: Will I finish the scroll in time to be able to start the de Heere reproduction in time to enter it as a work-in-progress at Art/Sci? Anyone taking bets? lol

I thought I needed to order some white wool as well for dye tests to validate the color but then I remembered I have white Coriedale roving in the Abyss (aka the studio) so now just need the Madder root. Then the next decision is whether I want to buy the 75 buttons I’ll need for the project straight-out, buy a couple and manufacture what I need from Sculpey (using what I purchased to make a mold), or speak to someone about casting pewter buttons for me. Oh, and I need to get saffron and silver silks for the scarf and girdle, respectively.

In other news, for those that may have been concerned, I managed to finally get out of the funk I was in (q.v. last post) around noon or so today, and talked it over with one of the involved parties this evening as well. Life is back to its normal helter skelter and pretty much all is right with my world again. Yay.

And, finally, I’ve decided to upgrade my digital camera. The new toy is now ordered and, soon, on its way to me. Wohoo! And it’s not even retail therapy because I started thinking about it last Friday and didn’t do the actual purchasing until I was bakc to what passes for normal for me, so no buyers remorse or anything like that. I’d be really surprised (but pleased just the same) if it arrived in time for me to take it to Art/Sci, but definitely in time for Lion’s Tourney (like I’m going to have time to use it then!).

We all have them, but it’s a bit of a bitch to run smack into them face-first.

Recently I’ve been exploring a lot of new options, considering possibilities, etc. etc. etc. And really? Everything that has come up has maybe taken a moment to process but it’s all been okay, nothing too freak-out-inducing, and I’m cool with it. Until recently. I found a limit. And it surprised me. A lot. And freaked me out. I had this intense feeling of ‘I have no business being here but leaving would cause a scene, how the hell do I get out of this?’

After I did extricate myself, sans scene, I tried to analyze it, figure out what my real issue is, where the disconnect is, that sort of thing. And even though I feel pretty comfortable with the reasons (and that they are valid for me and that I am entitled to have them), and I don’t think it’s anything I have to change (just avoid the limit in the future and things will be fine, not that big of a deal) but I still haven’t been able to shake the feeling of ennui that settled in after the freak-out. Hence, I skipped a couple of planned things today and am hiding out from everybody. I’m not entirely proud of that fact or even happy about spending time at home alone when I could have been out with friends, etc. but I’m also not sure I would have been very good company.

Some company would be nice, but not a crowd. I’m running low on one-on-one time I think, and that’s also played a part in the freak-out I think, but with everything going on one-on-one time is going to be hard to come by, I think, for a while. Ew, that sucks. Oh well, what will be will be.

‘Cause I’m still a smidge too tired to come up with one on my own.

So, First Friday was fun. Dinner at Renaissance was very good, the galleries were relatively interesting. The snark factor was low, but one of the pop-art offerings did elicit a particularly bad comment… It was a very angry red bunny with evil pink eyes and all I could think was, ‘Well, wouldn’t you be angry if you had a green bird for a penis?’

The cold, however, was a bit of an annoyance, and the drum circle was, I believe, offending Mon Amour’s delicate sense of rythym so we decided to leave and seek other entertainments…

Now today I really need to get on the ball and work on my Art/Sci scroll and the LT website. At some point I also need to make something (or ploan to make something) for Cook’s Guild tomorrow, and there’s a birthday party tonight at the C’s. Where did my weekend go already???

That’s what it looks like to me…a big bright cheshire cat grin hanging amid the stars. It was strangely hanging with the bottom of the crescent, not the side, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it like that before.

Tonight was my first night at a meeting as MOAS, I think I did okay with my plea for Art/Sci entries, I just hope we do end up with some! Also, Lion’s Tourney has a website ; go see! (It’s still very much a work in progress and will get spiffed up ove the next week or so with more info added as we get it, but otherwise it’s up!)

First Friday is tomorrow night. Jen & Julie are busy but I lucked out and Mon Amour is actually available to go, so it’s like a date! Cool! Actually it’s going to be freaking cold… but that’s okay, the bonfire should be popular!

Ever since middle school I’ve had this strange curiosity about D&D. I’m a geek, I just don’t necessarily look like one or act like one at all times.

Back then my (guy) friends played and I’d ask them about it, ask to play, etc. and I’d just get the ‘you’re too much of a girl’ type responses. I’d hear bits and pieces and even almost bought some of the books from a used book store in high school. But no, never did and never got to play, not even when some of my other (female) friends played. Sigh…

While I worked at the Plantation I had a chef who would run games, and while he never invited me to play (hello…I was working in a restaurant, when was there time anyway!) he did tell me some interesting stories.

So now I’m in the SCA and low and behold the group is filled with gamers. I suppose it’s no big surprise, all things considered, but okay, whatever, I mention that I was never really allowed to play with my friends, yadda yadda yadda and the strangest thing happened: they actually said, ‘Well, we play here every such-and-such night, your welcome to come.’

Cool!

Now, of course, being me–the inordinately busy and hobbied person that I already am, I really didn’t take them up on it the first time it was offered, but recently it was offerred again and I decided to maybe come by and watch and see how they did things and see if I really was interested in playing or if Munchkin was really more my style. Last week: game canceled. This week, game on but wait, maybe not, not enough people showed up. Sigh… so, if they ever actually play again, I might just get to see finally what the fuss is all about.

Holly Golightly, indeed! (though I do wish I could wear those cute flats she preferred which are back in style, but I digress)

Today was not a bad day, really, some interesting things happened and I was looking forward to sharing them with you. But then some stupid-head had to go and IM me something relatively inappropriate and took it badly when I told him that no, I didn’t feel like discussing sex (in any context) right then. Fine, screw you too (except I wouldn’t–not even in text–and that is, of course, the problem right?). But then a company I was TRYING to spend money with (and willing to pay a not-dim penny for something they didn’t even have to box up and ship me–it’s a downloaded upgrade for pity’s sake!) decides to have attitude and not process the charge. Twice. And the “live support”? Nope, unavailable. So I break down and call the idiots and they’re closed. Yes, I realize it’s not standard business hours, but don’t put the number if your not going to have a person to answer it unless you post the time restriction on that number in the same space. ARGH!

So, while I thought about ranting good and long about the above and a few other things (because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want with it because I pay for it) I decided I really didn’t want to do that either. So tummy is now full of chocolate-covered cookies of various kinds and I’m putting myself to bed. Alone.

Scraps out.

Today the only vestiges of the hangover is a slightly sore ribcage noticible only when I cough or laugh. This is a vast improvement over yesterday!

Work was rather productive. I didn’t get quite as much as I’d hoped done last week when we were closed, but what I did accomplish helped me almost finish the Big Task today so yay me. Plus it gave me uninterrupted time to figure out a few more bits of the new system and there’s a trio of questions/requests waiting for EPMS when they return to the office tomorrow

Dancing did not happen, but even if it had I would have merely spectated–I’m being a good do-bee and not risking my heel/ankle any more than necessary. I’ve even decided not to push my luck by dancing at First Friday. I’ll be a spectator this month and hopefully back in the swing of things for February. (slight pout, but there is a possibility my mood will improve about that lol)

Instead of dancing we went to Rice bowl for dinner. Yummmmmmmmy. Now, the first time I went with the dance group their spicy tuna roll was how I liked it: with the spice paste inside the roll with the other ingredients. Since then they must have a new sushi chef because the last few times (tonight included) it had instead this spicy brown sauce on the top and you totally cannot taste the tuna at all. The smoked eel roll, however, was divine and I believe next time I’ll get that with something else other than the spicy tuna. Sad to say but Publix’s spicy tuna roll is superior. The meal I ordered was tasty too (T17) and it was some sort of spicy fish non-curry. Most of that came home and will be lunch tomorrow. Mmmmm.

After that it was over to the C’s where there had been talk of a movie but, as per the norm, reality turned out to be far more entertaining. “Never a dull moment.” All I’ll say is that instead of 3-card-stud there were 3 stud cards doing a little bootie dance in their skivvies for us. On film. Hee! No, I will not be utilizing the video features of the gallery to share that, but I do hope to get a copy for private viewing purposed. Meow!

Speaking of video: Lady Ana! I need copies of the Harvest videos to futz with for uploading!!! This is me nagging! Luv ya!

Friends and I rang in the new year at a party hosted by Lady Isabella and a good time was had by all that attended. Unfortunately I had a smidge too good of a time and had to pay the price this morning. Oh my but its been a while since I was so ill. Mon amour looked after me well, today, and I’m feeling more on the human side of things again. I will, I think, be very careful at his birthday party in a few weeks.

There will be no resolutions or declaration of intentions this year, all I want is to be happy and, frankly, things are looking well on that front, so no need to make a production of it. There is the aforementioned birthday in a couple weeks, Art/Sci the week after that, a possible shopping trip the following weekend, and Lion’s Tourney coming up close in February. I’m going to be a busy girl over the next few months, but the lack of school-work will, I hope, make things much more attainable.

One tradition I didn’t forgo was the New Year’s day food requirement. Cabbage (for wealth) and Black Eyed Peas (for health) were dutifully (and even a smidge enthusiastically) consumed. Y’all still have time to get your annual requirement so eat up!

Hey, Izzy! We didn’t sing Auld Lang Syne last night after the ball dropped. How forgetful of us!

Here it is, including some lyrics I’ve never heard before, for posterities sake:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne!

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!