When all else fails?

Throw money at the problem.

(No, I’m not talking about the strike, though I suppose that would fit as well: AMPTP, ante up!)

I restarted Minnie umpteen times lsat night, ran updates, etc. No luck, the keyboard was still sluggish and intermittently responsive. Tonight after the pre-turkey grocery run I even changed the blasted batteries one more time. I unhooked and re-hooked the wireless pluggie thing on Minnie. I shook, I slammed (the keyboard) and nothing.

So then I got dressed (I was already in my jammies, folks), shut off the oven (which was roasting chicken thighs for the dressing) and hauled ass to CompUSA (Hallelujah Chorus for them being 5 minutes away, if that) while my hot chocolate cooled and tossed the plastic on the counter for an Apple keyboard and Mighty Mouse. I have had it with knock-offs to save $20-$40. Just no. Not worth it. The piece of shit Kensington desktop that they sent me to replace the first piece of shit Kensington desktop I purchased was what? Oh, right! A piece of shit. Or, alliteratively: Kensington Krap! I went through two sets in 11 months (and, honestly, the mouses didn’t even last that long since I used the wireless mouse on my graphics tablet about 4 of those 11).

And so what if I went back to a tethered keyboard and mouse? Frankly the wireless feature wasn’t doing all that much for me so you can tie me up and whip me with those precious white USB cords if it means I don’t have to fight with my peripherals!

I can has ports?

And while I was at it, I bought a seven-port hub so that I don’t have to swap USBs each time I want to use a different peripheral. Boo-yah! Between the still-open port on the new keyboard and those as-yet-unused on the hub I have a total of 5 USB slots open. The iPod and the digital camera cable would conceivably take up two of those if they didn’t live in my purse and camera bag, respectively, but even then. Dude! I can has ports!