Wedding Nightmares: Both Real and Imagined

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

I guess I’ve reached that point in the wedding planning process where my brain has become so over-saturated on wedding everything that it was time to let some of the flotsam out by way of a good old fashioned wedding nightmare. This weekend’s saga included:

  • 30 or so wedding crashers (well-meaning celebrants all, but nonetheless an awkward result of a sudden ceremony venue change to an active church who announced the wedding in their community bulletin);
  • us fast-forwarding 2 months so that, apparently, no other projects were completed and only about half of the ones we’ve finished were delivered to the venue;
  • my dress not fitting–though at least it was too big and that was the easier problem to fix;
  • and the sky turning pitch black at 2pm because a hurricane decided to take a right at the panhandle and pay us a visit.

All of which I direct a mental side-eye to my psyche for rolling all of that (and more!) into one bizarre dream.

Still, I remember being more confused and ‘eh, whatever’ about the events instead of waking up in a cold sweat or anything. Unlike the wedding nightmares I had almost 2 years ago before we’d even announced our plans to friends and family. Go figure.

Chances of any and all of that happening? Slim to none, obviously.

Of course, I never would have dreamed some nightmarish things that really did happen to me had much of a chance, either. Like being called an ungrateful little b!tch by my FMIL just hours before my wedding as I stood in her church fellowship hall simply for asking why the color scheme had changed. The church she insisted she’d be heartbroken if we didn’t get married in (when we’d wanted 50 people on the beach), and offered to take care of everything for us if we’d just *let her* have this one thing. Follow that up with an awkward apology after the ceremony and his promise that I’d never have to see her again (which lasted all of one week) and you have a pretty good picture of the nightmare that was my first wedding day. Or then there was the escalating anger issues my second husband exhibited that went only (thank goodness!) as far as the threat of violence (while he was screaming at me, 6 inches between our faces) before I “overreacted”–his words–and left him. Though, of course, it wasn’t quite so simple as even that sums it up to be.

Those nightmares took a bit more than some sunlight and a buzzing alarm clock to get away from.

I made bad decisions. I paid the consequences. Thank goodness they weren’t worse, but you can imagine how those sorts of things would sour a girl on the idea of marriage for herself. Would contribute to a jaded view of the institution itself and the conclusion that, as the common denominator, I was not cut out for marriage. And why it took a long time and the love of a patient man to change said opinions.

As for us, we Road Trips have weathered our own nightmares these last almost-six years, starting with a long distance relationship and including unemployment, depression, physical health issues, and the first house we rented together being foreclosed out from under us. Fun times (not). And, yet, through it all it was us against whatever, we made it through and were stronger because of it. There may have been tears at times, but for the most part we’ve laughed our way through the difficulties. Not to mention held on to our love for each other. There hasn’t been a moment I doubted his love for me and I feel certain Mr. Road Trip would say the same (though there have been times when I wasn’t sure I deserved it).

So while I still maintain that the details matter, and I still plan to do my damnedest to get all my planned projects complete (because crafting is fun and satisfying to my soul), should something get left behind or just not done, I have hope that it won’t be anything near nightmare-proportions.

Coming Soon to a Mailbox Near You!

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

If, of course, you live near one of our invited guests, that is.

After spending the entirety of the recent 3-day weekend completing the design, printing, and assembling thereof, the Road Trip invites have flown the coop (if you’ll pardon the mixed metaphor). While we want to give them a few days to get to their destinations, can we talk envelopes for a moment, and the addressing of said bits?

Even though it complicated matters a smidgen, I went with chocolate brown envelopes from Envelopes.com for our invitations. Even though they’re the usual #10 envelope size (which fits just right with the style of invitation I designed), the color definitely sets them apart from bills and junk mail that might also be in the box that day. With such a dark envelope that leaves only two options for addressing: labels or opaque ink (white or metallic). For some reason I didn’t even consider labels and option, really, so went on the hunt for just the right opaque ink.

I got my first calligraphy for my 11th birthday and have been practicing different styles, off and on, over the last 26 years but I really didn’t feel like fiddling with my dip pens for this. Instead, I started with a couple of paint pens: one with a chisel tip that just disappeared on the paper and one that showed up great that would have worked well for the front but would have been a bit big for the return address flap. So the hunt continued.

Sometimes it just helps to see the options side-by-side.

Sometimes it just helps to see the options side-by-side.

Another trip to the store yielded 2 metallic contenders: Prang brush pens and why-didn’t-I-think-of-that-before Sharpies. Even though the bronze and gold Sharpies fit our color scheme better, the Silver stood out the best of the three and just felt better writing-wise (Mr. Road Trip cast the deciding vote on that one, as he did with a few other invitation elements).

As for the writing, I skipped the exemplars and just went for my usual handwriting with a few extra swoops on the capital letters. After all, calligraphy comes from the Greek for “beautiful writing” and while I don’t claim to have the most beautiful handwriting in the world, it is something I’ve been a tad obsessive about. In high school I would rewrite homework assignments if I didn’t like my handwriting on a particular page and would change how I made certain letter-forms when I thought my writing could use a little shaking up. As a bookkeeper it helps that my writing be more than legible, and when I draw comics I insist upon hand-lettering.

With all of that in mind, I probably shouldn’t have started addressing envelopes at 2 in the morning. I was  up, it was next on the list, but I completely spaced about using titles on the first handful of envelopes and I wasted about a dozen all-told with various screw-ups. This is the point where I didn’t mind having to order a pack of 50 envelopes to send out 25 invites!

A Tip: When using opaque ink on a colored envelope and you need to fix a little bobble, find an ink pen or Sharpie that’s the same color as your paper and “fill in” the little oopsies. It’ll save your sanity when you’re down to your last few or you’ve already put postage on an unfinished envelope.

Of course we're inviting the head cheeses!

Of course we’re inviting the head cheeses!

For stamps I didn’t stress. There weren’t any good wine or grape-themed stamps available outside of places like Zazzle (and I just couldn’t see paying double for postage, even with such a small quantity) so I chose the wedding cake and white roses stamps (which was about $0.20 more postage than necessary, but better safe than sorry). In the end, they looked great against the dark brown envelopes, so all’s well that ends well.

What was your biggest challenge when it came to addressing your wedding invitations?

Searching for Inspiration | Bouquet & Bouts

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Just because I’ve opted to use alternatives to fresh-flowers, doesn’t mean I want them to look vastly different from their traditional counterparts–I just don’t want them to cost an arm and a leg or possibly wither before the day is done. Over the last several months I’ve been working with different materials and designs, and now it’s time to start putting all these things together.

While I have a feeling that the flowers I’ve amassed are going to inform the bouquet design more than any inspiration picture I can find, I still needed a direction to head in, so returned to my wedding flowers pins for inspiration.

I remember getting an almost-visceral ‘oh, yes, THAT!‘ feeling when I saw this first one.

Sheath bouquet | image via Wedding Wire | Photography by Eternal Reflections Photography

Sheath bouquet | image via Wedding Wire | Photography by Eternal Reflections Photography

The more I look at, the more I acknowledge that this might not be a bouquet at all. It might be a decorated broom for the traditional jumping of the broom some cultures end their ceremonies with. But I still loved the idea of a sheath-style bouquet, one that nestles in the crook of your arm. Plus it’s just so quintessentially fall that you can practically smell the cinnamon sticks. The main reason I vetoed this idea, in the end, was the same reason I was glad I didn’t fall head-over-heels in love with a tulle-skirted gown: in theory it’s great, in practice I know myself and know that I would be holding this bouquet sword-like and bandying it about as I talk with my hands (and, in the skirt example, would have felt the uncontrollable urge to swish said skirt every moment I was standing). I’d take someone’s eye out with it before we got to brunch!

Moving along, a lot of the bouquets I pinned featured small, strategic pops of color–notably yellows and blues–in an otherwise monochrome bouquet.

While I decided my bouquet would be mostly shades of white/ivory, I do think I want to incorporate something that pops out. Maybe not the yellow craspedia or blue thistle, but something to break up the monochrome. Another little detail I liked about this particular bouquet was the crinkly vine or wire or ribbon or whatever seems to be hovering around the base of the bouquet, though I’m not sure how well it will work, in the end, with a less structured bouquet.

image via Wedding Wire | Photography by Danielle Gillete Photography

image via Wedding Wire | Photography by Danielle Gillett Photography

Minus the feathers, I think this is more of the feeling I’m going for. Apparently I’m not a fan of the head-of-broccoli bouquets, either (h/t to Mr. Bicycle for that apt description). Less structure, almost messy but not quite wild, and a mixture of elements that keeps the eyes interested. Yeah, I think that could work.

Then I saw something awesome that I knew I had to incorporate into my bouquet and Mr. Road Trip’s boutonniere: star anise!

Star Anise and Pearls | image via Offbeat Bride | photography by Kristin Williams

Star Anise and Pearls | image via Offbeat Bride | photography by Kristin Williams

Just imagine how amazing this must smell!!!

Okay, to understand why this struck such a chord with me, it’s helps to know that I created something called Paladin Punch (inspired by the RPG character archetype) that we serve at parties and conventions and one of the ingredients is a star anise syrup. And ever since creating that recipe, the smell of star anise brings up happy memories of friends and fun and successful endeavors. Another point in it’s favor is that it’s not the usual cloying flower scent which can easily overpower and cause sinus issues among myself and Mama Leadfoot, so it’s a win all around as far as I’m concerned. Finding whole star anise can be a bit of a challenge, but not an insurmountable one.

As for Mr. Road Trip’s boutonniere, it’s a simple matter of including a few key elements on a smaller scale and calling it a day, same with the additional buttonholes and corsages we’ll make for family members and readers. There is one particular bout that caught me eye, though:

image via Etsy | created by The Bread and Butterfly

image via Etsy | created by The Bread and Butterfly

I hadn’t planned on including a cork in the lapel flowers but this is giving me ideas in that general direction. Perhaps a Champagne cork instead?

Did you floral favorites include any unusual elements?

Raising the Literary Roof

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Or wine bottle, as the case may be.

After deciding I needed something to raise one part of our centerpieces, I searched for a stand-in to get the right dimensions and found a small box about 4″ x 3 1/2″ x 2″ in size. This nestled perfectly among the bottles, now I just needed to replicate it. At first I figured I’d ask Mr. Road Trip to cut down some 2x4s and I’d paint them but then I had a better idea: why go out and buy more materials when I have plenty of options just laying around?!

Enter the masses of corrugated cardboard clogging our garage, not the least bit enhanced by the onslaught of recent wedding purchases!

Building the "page blocks" for the mini-books.

Building the “page blocks” for the mini-books.

Starting with 2″ strips of cardboard, I used a straight edge to “score” my folds for each side, leaving a 2″ tab to secure the “book page block” together. Here’s a tip about building with cardboard: if your item will be supporting ANYTHING, make sure the “load-bearing walls” have the little corrugated channels running vertical instead of horizontal as they are stronger this way. You could use hot glue to secure your walls, but I opted for the less-prone-to-burn-me Helmar Quick Dry 450 (aka hot glue in a tube). The cardboard was a bit on the stubborn side, though, so quick use of a clothespin was employed to help things set up the way they were supposed to.

A subtle but effective color change.

A subtle but effective color change.

To give the faux books the look of gilded pages, I painted the page blocks a metallic gold. It doesn’t look like much until you look at one of the unpainted ones next to the painted, and then you can tell that oh, yeah, it’s totally working.

jwalker_ttb_stackocovers

While they dried, it was time to cut the front and back covers for the books (aka the top and bottom of the stands). I cut each 1/2″ larger than the “page block” dimensions so that it really would look like a hardbound book, if slightly exaggerated. I had enough cardboard from a single box’s oversized flaps to make 12 mini-books, so up until this part this DIY cost me nothing but an evening’s time.

In fact, the only thing I bought special for these books was the patterned paper for the covers. You could certainly go with giftwrap, but I found a pretty print by Paper Studio and paid a whopping .59 a sheet, so the 6 sheets that it took to finish the books cost all of $3.54 (less, actually, as I think the paper was on sale that day). Yay for cost-effective crafts, right?

jwalker_ttb_coveringthecovers

Anyway! To figure out how much of each sheet I needed I laid out a set of covers and a page block on the back of a sheet (and used my scoring board as a ruler). Leave a little space between the covers and the page blog to account for the thickness of the cardboard and set the outer corners at least 1/2″ in from the outside edges of the paper. From this I could see needing strips 5 1/2″ x 11″, so I trimmed 1″ off each sheet and then split it in half. I could have left the extra inch, but snugger was better when I was eyeballing cover placement.

To keep things from wiggling around or gaping in the final construction (and save on adhesive), I attached each cover only along the edge closest to the spine of the book (and use a double-sided tape for this and future steps–less bulk and no warping or wrinkling of your paper). Then, to reduce bulk, I trimmed all four corners close to but not right at the cover corners. Ideally this creates the perfect mitered corner fold. Ideally. Save the cut-off corners, though, just in case.

jwalker_ttb_cornercoverup

After that, it just took adhesive along the outer edges, folding in the short sides and then finishing with the long sides, matching those corners as best you can, and pressing down the center of the “spine” edges to make a nice edge. If you have gaps in your corners (almost inevitable unless you carefully measure each and every corner cut–and who has time for that?!) use the triangular scraps to cover them up. And if someone is looking closely enough to notice the pattern doesn’t match, you’ve got bigger problems than DIY!

jwalker_ttb_assemblethebook

Final assembly! Position the “page block” on the inside of one of the covers, making sure only the pretty patterned paper shows around the edges, then fold over the other cover to make sure it’s going to wrap around easily. Jiggle it around until everything fits right, glue down one side (now the bottom) with the liquid adhesive of your choice, then add your glue to the top and press the top cover into place. Before the glue completely sets, even out your covers by placing the book on each side, just so everything comes out evenly.

Tadaa!

jwalker_ttb_handwrittenbookspines

Since both Mr. Road Trip and I are avid readers, we each chose 6 of our favorite books and I wrote them in white paint pen on some scraps of purple card stock left over from matting the table names, etc. You could create the little spines on the computer and print them for a more polished/fool-the-eyes look, but I didn’t mind writing them out. This was just another way we chose to insert a little of ourselves into the decor.

And here’s my at-home mock-up of what I think our tables will look like:

Pooh and the Star Trek bears approve...

Pooh and the Star Trek bears approve that there’s ample room for eye-contact and conversation amid the decorations

I am SO happy to be able to check this very large project off the to-do list!

Did you trash-to-treasure anything for your wedding decor? How did it turn out?

Bottles and Bunches

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

All those bottles I spent an afternoon cleaning a while back? A good many of theme have now met their destiny as centerpieces and table numbers.

First were the table “numbers,” (actually names, specifically wine names), made up of a wine bottle filled with burgundy beads and topped with a paper-flower topiary. On each side of the bottle is the same viney frame I drew for our Save the Date cards around the wine name; nice, simple, and to the point. Even though we’ll only have six tables in a U-shape and a seating chart at the door (making table numbers or name rather superfluous), these were one of the first decor items I knew I wanted, so I stuck with then anyway.

I think the beads inside the bottles look a little bit like bubbles!

I think the beads inside the bottles look a little bit like bubbles!

As I was putting them together I realized that at the top of each bottle there was a necessary gap between where the beads ended and the stem of the topiary (which will keep it in the bottle in case the glue fails) meets them that looks just all kinds of ugly. So I took that same viney frame, popped our names and wedding date inside, and then made a quick logo of our initials and created a repeating pattern in Illustrator of it. Cut into 2 1/2″ x 5″ strips it made the perfect stand-in for the usual foil that wraps this same space.

Since we went with rectangular tables, a single centerpiece wouldn’t quite do. And while I love the look of a continuous arrangement down the center of the table, I also didn’t want to end up crowding the table too much. Instead, on either side of the table number, will be a cluster of elements, both bottle and otherwise.

jwalker_ttb_centerpiece cluster

The full bottle is a lot like the table numbers (without the topiary) only this time instead of wine names we inserted fun trivia from the years we’ve lived. After all, one of the fun things I first learned about Mr. Road Trip was that he was born the same year the original Star Trek series first aired. So we went from there, finding what information we could between sites like InfoPlease.com and looking up the dates some of our favorite movies were released. It seemed like a good way to include our “very good year” timeline idea from our Save the Dates as well as give our guests something to talk about, should they notice the little fun facts.

Not all were successful, but most cut fairly straight.

Not all were successful, but most cut fairly straight.

I spent an afternoon cutting some of the cleaned wine bottles so that they could be used in various pieces and parts in the centerpieces and other decorations. The cutter I purchased (Generation Green G2 Bottle Cutter) suggested dipping the scored bottles in hot then cold water to create the break, but that never worked–not even a crack. Next I remembered seeing something about using a candle flame to heat the score, then the cold water to stress the glass. That worked a little, but not well (the first half cracked well enough, and then went nowhere). And then when the air conditioner kicked on it started to work against my efforts. Finally I went to the web and found the same video that Mrs. Pain au Chocolat found using the tea kettle and tap water method and it worked like a charm (providing my score lines were correct–something that takes a bit of practice, I learned).

I had to set up an extra workstation in our library--no such thing as too many flat surfaces!

I had to set up an extra workstation in our library (aka the repurposed dining room)–no such thing as too many flat surfaces!

The bottom halves of some of the bottles serve as “vases” of a sort, filled with excelsior and topped with faux grape cluters. A couple things I learned on this one: don’t buy your grape clusters from the craft store (where they charge anything from 3-8 dollars per cluster), head straight to your nearest Dollar Tree and you’ll likely find a bin of them for the predictable $1 each. It takes about a cluster and a half to top a wine bottle vase and they should be secured with GOOP-style craft glue. Noxious stuff, but according to ThistoThat.com, the best option for securing pretty much anything to glass clearly. (No, hot glue isn’t recommended for this.) It also takes about an hour to set up, so I used painter’s tape to hold things in place while the glue dried.

Emery paper, a little water, and a movie on Netflix easily gets through a dozen bottle edges.

Emery paper, a little water, and a movie on Netflix easily gets through a dozen bottle edges.

Finally (or so I thought) the top halves of the bottles will round off the trio with an electric tea light inside to add some flickering atmosphere. I did sand these down a bit with emery paper (different than regular sand paper and not the same as emery cloth used for metal, either, though we did try that last one in a pinch) just enough that I wouldn’t have to worry about someone cutting themselves during set-up. They don’t all stand 100% straight and I’m somewhat surprised at myself for not caring that much. My OCD-ish tendencies must be taking a day off, is all I can figure.

That looks better--and what's that peeking out from the back, there?

That looks better–and what’s that peeking out from the back, there?

Of course, when I put the three pieces together I realized that the grape-topped vases needed a little bit more height. Guess it’s time to add one more project to the centerpieces before calling them done!