If you read any number of wedding blogs, wedding magazines, wedding books or anything else bridal, I’m sure you’ve come across something like the following: Don’t worry about Uncle Bob’s bad dancing/the boutonnieres being wrong/the fight with your bridesmaids/etc. because, at the end of the day, as long as you end up married, that’s all that matters.

Yes and no.

If all I wanted was a signed legal document proclaiming our lives contractually linked, I could have gone down to the courthouse and had that in about 15 minutes (Florida’s 3-day wait after getting the certificate excluded).

But that’s not all that matters.

Getting married is one thing, having a wedding is a whole ‘nother thing entirely. A wedding is a tiny bit ceremony and a huge bit celebration. As the bride (and together with the groom), I’m hosting one hell of a party. And when it comes to parties? Details matter.

Uncle Bob’s bad dancing notwithstanding, those little details that you’re supposed to just blow off because they’re not important? Gee, thanks for telling me that the 6 months I spend hand-making paper flowers for bouquets, bouts and centerpieces doesn’t matter. That the menu I worked diligently on with the caterer doesn’t matter. That the friendships that have flourished or floundered over this 2 year period don’t matter.

Now, I know good and well that there comes a point in every party where you decide that certain things are good enough or other things just aren’t going to get done. And you’re okay with that because enough items on the list did get accomplished and most people aren’t going to know or notice.

In my circle we call this pressing the Fuqit! button.

But those details? They matter! Otherwise they would have been taken off the massive to-do list well before the week or day of the wedding. The end result may be the same–you and your mister are hitched–but those details make the difference between your guests merely witnessing the signing of a contract between two people and celebrating the union of two lives with all their passions and quirkiness.

So don’t dismiss your desires quite so quickly, brides and grooms of the 21st century. Know what’s important, yes. Know what’s worth fighting for (figuratively, at least). And know what’s worth letting go if it really comes down to it.

But don’t say it doesn’t matter.

 Have your say: What oft-repeated wedding phrases get under your skin?