gifts

Your Presence Is Present Enough…

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Or: Why We Don’t Have a Wedding Registry

As a general rule, I’m a fan of wedding registries. I think they can be invaluable for guests who truly want to gift the bride and groom items the couple want or need. I’m happy to shop from them. I have nothing against the concept of wedding registries.

But I did not want to make one for our upcoming wedding.

Part of this is that, as an older couple, we have many years of accumulated stuff. We have a 2,000+ square foot home’s worth of stuff, to be exact, already creatively crammed into not quite enough space such that our 2-car garage will never hold even one of our cars. Stuff that, when we first moved in together, took more than a single 24′ moving truck to consolidate more than 3 years ago, and we’ve only added more stuff since then! I have a Kitchen Aid, more knives and kitchen appliances than we’ve got space for, and we’re inheriting my grandmother’s china and silver in a year or two from Dr. Aunt (she’s passing down things to the next generation early, not planning on passing away, and let us have our pick several years back).

We’ve got enough stuff, we don’t need any more. And even the idea of asking folks to help us “upgrade” some of that current stuff makes me uncomfortable.

Because that’s the other part of the no-registry coin: I dislike (almost to the level of hate) asking others for things.

The hows and whys of that particular quirk probably go back to growing up without much of anything to speak of and the dual lessons of necessary independence and the pain of being told disappointment. Mama Leadfoot was (technically still is, even though we’re now grown) the single mother of three with no family nearby and barely a high school education. I have tremendous respect for the sacrifices she made for us and the way she raised us. And while she did her best to make sure that we had everything that we absolutely needed plus what little extras when she could, I grew up knowing that it was better not to ask for some things. Because it wasn’t just the ‘no’ that stung, but the understanding of how frustrating it must have been for her to have to tell us that she just couldn’t give us what we wanted or what she wanted us to have.

Even now, decades after all of our situations have improved, when she asks for Christmas or birthday lists I still freeze up, shrug my shoulders, and have a hard time actually making requests.

Sure, we’ve been tempted a few times to start a registry just for the sake of having one, but we never pull the scanner’s trigger because it just doesn’t sit well with us. (Mr. Road Trip does have quite the aversion to ‘the ask’ that I do, but he agrees that we certainly don’t need anything enough to request it from our guests.)

So if any guests ask about it, we’ll just say that we’re happy to have them celebrating with us, and that’s gift enough.

Nice and diplomatic, right?

Of course, some guests may choose to gift us with something anyway, and we’ll happily accept it and send them a heartfelt thank-you note afterwards. We won’t be putting “no gifts” or anything like that on the invitations, because that implies we expected people to send us something in the first place (and, yes, I’m firmly on the side of NOT including registry cards or anything else of that sort in the wedding invitation), which we don’t.

For us, at this point in our lives, it’s enough that our friends and family are willing to give up a good chunk of their Saturday to spend time with us and celebrate.

How do you feel about registries? Does you opinion change if it’s not either the bride or groom’s first marriage?

Tuesday Reviews-Day | Capabunga Reusable Wine Caps

Sips

I know, I know, that old saw:

What do you do with leftover wine?
You mean you have leftover wine?

Yes, as a matter of fact we do, quite often in fact. Moderation, remember? And when I’m preparing a number of wine reviews or open a bottle to cook with but don’t feel like drinking the rest that night, into the fridge it goes.

Recorking sometimes happens, but more times than not it’s easier to use one of the buck-a-pop lever-style wine sealers we picked up at Bed, Bath & Beyond some years ago. Granted, those sometimes pop off of their own accord, and I wouldn’t necessarily trust them if the bottle was laying on its side, but they work more times than not. This is one of those areas that screw-top bottles do have a bit of an advantage.

So when I was contacted about the new Capabunga reusable cap for wine bottles, I was intrigued.

holiday_2packs

True, the name made me laugh (TMNT anyone?) but when they arrived I really liked the look of them, enough to briefly consider ordering them as wedding favors for our wine-themed fete later this year ($7.95 a pair is fine for personal use, but a little on the high side for wedding favors). They come in a variety of colors with cute sayings like His/Hers, Drink Me/Be Wine, Retox/Wine Jail, and the above I earned it/Me Time sets, and really would make a nice hostess gift along with a bottle of wine or two.

Named and designed after the silicone bung (or stopper) that is used on oak aging barrels, the most important questions is do they work? Do they fit easily onto an open wine bottle and prevent spills and leaks while the bottle is on its side?

From what I can tell, absolutely!

Putting it on was way simpler than recorking an open bottle or even using one of those lever-seals (that sometimes don’t) and after a week my test bottle showed absolutely no signs of leaking. Good show! Of course, then there was the matter of getting the cap off to pour the rest of the wine, but even that was accomplished with very little effort.

From what I can tell, the Capabunga is available direct from their site only right now, though I’d imaging they’ll start popping up in your favorite winery’s gift shops before too long. And it looks like they will do custom imprints (minimum order of 200) and wholesale pricing, too.

Cheers!

———————

I received a set of Capabunga resuable wine caps for purpose of review. All opinions are my own.

5 Tips to Perfect Thank You Cards

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Most of our mail is a casual affair these days with email and text messaging taking over the day-to-day communications. While I see the practical side of things like email invitations and online RSVP cards, I just can’t help but think how cool it is to get something other than bills and junk mail in the mailbox on any given day. Thank you cards might just be the last vestige of hope when it comes to retaining the beauty that is the hand-written card, so let’s go over some best practices.

1. Thank yous are easier to write the closer to the event.

This goes along with the idea that almost anything is easier to do if we just get started–putting it off never made it any easier. While I won’t go so far as to suggest you take your thank you cards on your honeymoon (though some industrious brides have done just that), setting time aside just after your bridal shower is certainly not a bad idea. If you’ve got a few waiting-room sessions in your future (the DMV, Social Security, and other name-change offices) bring the cards along and be productive when and where you can. This might be one of the reasons etiquette dictates 2-3 months as an acceptable timeline for getting those cards out.

2. A thank you is more personal if it’s handwritten.

Which usually means that the partner with the best handwriting gets the task. While it’s fine to have a sweet sentiment printed inside the card you choose or design, make sure there’s still room for a nice note somewhere on the card.

3. To make it easier to get the cards written, keep all the supplies in one (portable) place.

Cards, envelopes, a couple of pens (in case one runs out), stamps, and any envelope seals or stickers that you’re using can easily fit into a cigar box or other small enclosure. Decorate it if it makes you feel better, but keeping your act together will make the whole process much more enjoyable.

And a happy writer is a productive writer!

4. Be formal where necessary, be familiar when possible.

When you start your card with Dear So-and-so, the way you address the giver depends on your relationship. Your husband’s boss’s wife whom you’ve only just met at the engagement part? Mrs. Bossman is probably the way to go. But that family friend that you’ve always referred to as Uncle Bob (even if there’s no blood or marriage relation in place), go ahead and start with Dear Uncle Bob, since that’s the way you’d address them in person.

5. Keep things simple, but make it personal.

A thank you note can easily be just three lines

  • The initial thank-you stating the event you saw them at and/or the gift they gave you.
  • A short sentence about how you think you’ll use the gift.
  • The repeat of thanks to close the note with sincerity.

So, really, a thank you card could read

Dear Aunt Jo,

It was wonderful of you to make the trip out to the coast for our wedding. The place setting and glassware will look lovely on our holiday table. Thank you for always being there for us kids,

With Love,

Pete and Josie

Of course, you can always include something sweet that happened at the event and anything else you want, but that depends mostly on how many cards you have to write and how much time you’re willing to spend on them.

Cash gifts require a bit more creativity, but a message like “thank you for your generous gift, it will certainly come in handy while we get settled into our new home” will certainly get the point across. If you’ve gone the honeymoon registry path, telling them about the trip is another way to word a thank-you.

Alright, now, no excuses!

Give the Gift of Experience

Sips

Unless you live under a rock, you know that Valentine’s Day is just over a week away.

Now I know that many people view this holiday as a money-grab by the card and chocolate industries and I’m not saying it isn’t, but I’m also not one to pass up an opportunity to say I Love You to the people in my life. (Yes, we should do that every day, but it’s nice to set aside one day in particular, too.)

For those who have no opposition to the upcoming holiday but are still wondering what to do or give to mark the occasion, have you considered laying low on the chocolates and tchotchkes, and gifting your someone special with an experience they’ll remember for the rest of their life?

How about, say, a trip to Tuscany?

Happy people congregating in Italycopyright Alessandro Moggi

Divino Tuscany 2012 is a

One-of-a-kind, 4-day celebration of the best Tuscan wines, food and culture. Divino Tuscany will offer a distinctive program that highlights premium wines: wine tastings with Tuscany’s top winemakers, seminars and grand tastings curated by James Suckling, former Senior Editor and European Bureau Chief of Wine Spectator and one of the world’s most influential wine critics; special luncheons and dinners prepared by Michelin-starred chefs and entertainment organized by IMG Artists, one of the leading producers of cultural and lifestyle festivals. Participating winemakers include Marchesi Antinori, Frescobaldi, Mazzei, Ricasoli, Il Borro, Petrolo and Castello Banfi, and more.

elegantly dressed couples in a gorgeous dining roomcopyright Alessandro Moggi

Sure, this sort of trip is a little on the pricey side (€1900 per person, or around $2500 at current rates), and you still have to make travel arrangements, but spending 4 days wining and dining in Tuscany in May doesn’t sound like a bad use of this year’s vacation fund, now does it? Especially not with a line-up of activities like this:

  • Festive welcome dinner to open the second edition of Divino Tuscany with the Italian premiere screening of James Suckling’s and James Orr’s film Heart and Soul of Cuba, recently shown to rave reviews at the Sonoma Film Festival, live music from Havana’s hottest pianist, Ernán López Nussa performing with his trio, and Grappa tasting with Cuban cigars
  • Gala dinner at the opulent Palazzo Corsini on the banks of the Arno.
  • Grand Tastings at the Grand Hotel Villa Cora poured by the winemakers and proprietors themselves.
  • Saturday night dinners in the private Palazzi of the most well known Tuscan wine families.
  • Join James Suckling as he escorts you through private tastings with winemakers he has personally invited for this intimate experience.
  • Divino Tuscany will close with a relaxed country lunch at the private villa Il Palagio, courtesy of owners Sting and Trudie Styler.

people at a wine tasting in Italycopyright Alessandro Moggi

And if you go? Please send me a postcard!

Since Cocktails Don’t Travel Well…

Sips

The Internet and all it’s various uses mean that those on your gifting list may not always been in the same town (or even country) as you. While it’d be great to share a holiday cocktail with friends far and near, sometimes you might have to settle for the next best thing: cocktail-related gifts. And since I’m also an avid reader, books on the subject are a favorite of mine. Here’s a short list of some I’ve plucked from my own shelf that might just strike a cord with someone on your list.

Swell Holiday by Cynthia Rowley and Ilene Rosenzweig

Remember when Target started to carry all their chic home furnishings with a nod to the 50s and 60s (the good parts)? Cynthia and Ilene are the women behind the Swell line of books and products and their Swell Holiday book is a nice slim volume with all sorts of neat tips, ideas and recipes (both food and drinks!) for entertaining during the winter holidays. Some gems include using Rice Krispies treats and marshmallow fluff to built your “gingerbread” dream home, substitute glow sticks for electric lights in the tree and coming up with just about anything other than a basket for a themed basket-like gift!

Good Spirits: Recipes, Revelations, Refreshments, and Romance, Shaken and Served with a Twist by A.J. Rathbun

Since purchasing this book, it’s become the first one I reach for if I start thinking about a drink (or ingredient) and wondering if something like it already exists. Not only does it have plenty of recipes for the home bartender or cocktail enthusiast, almost all of them come with some sort of witty introduction that takes this book from a mere collection of recipes to something you want to curl up on the couch with and read like a novel.

Absolut: Biography of a Bottle by Carl Hamilton

I think it’s safe to say that practically everyone knows the Absolut bottle. In an industry where packaging is generally over the top and exploited for the best possible shelf-recognition, this vodka managed to take something fairly simple and make it into their symbol. More than just the story of the ad campaign, this is the story of a brand building itself and the times it did it in. An interesting read from several standpoints, I picked this up from a bargain bin, I think, and was so glad I did because the story is just amazing.

Merry Kitschmas: The Ultimate Holiday Handbook by Michael D Conway

Traditional Christmas decorations and celebrations got you down? Wanna spice up your holiday or convince those pesky in-laws they don’t ever want to visit again? Following the advice in Merry Kitchsmas can do all that and more besides. My friend gave this to me as more of a joke one year than anything–I’m fairly traditional, after all–but I adore it’s tacky abandon from afar and have considered using some of their techniques in a more subdued fashion more than once.  Featuring all sorts of odd-ball decorations and recipes, many of the cocktails even get the glue gun turned in their direction for the ultimate in deco-gone-wild effects. Even if you never make anything from it, it’s great to have around just for the pictures!

The Official Guide to Christmas in the South: Or, If You Can’t Fry It, Spraypaint It Gold by David C Barnette

While not *technically* a cocktail book, it’s so much fun that I thought I should include it, just to round out the list. Being from the South, I can safely laugh at, confirm and commiserate with some of the anecdotal stories in this book. Featuring great spot illustrations and a definite sense of whimsy (I absolutely love the idea of the “regifting food chain” chart on page 85), it’s a perfect gift for the displaced Southerner on your list.

And, since this IS a cocktial blog, here’s one of the cocktails from Merry Kitchsmas:

The Sugarplum Fairy

2 oz Citrus vodka
1/2 oz Cointreau
1 oz Lemon juice
splash Cranberry juice
Ice
2 tsp sugar (plus extra for rimming the glass)

Blend all ingredients into a “pink icy slush.”

Rim a collins glass with sugar (colored sugar is even better). Pour in the contents of the blender and garnish as decoratively as possible.

The authors suggest hot glueing a ballerina cake pick to a pink swizzle stick and then inserting it into a straw (for stability, I suppose) then wrapping a piece of pink tulle around the bottom third of the glass and securing it with a rubber band to give the glass it’s own tutu.