goals

It’s a Great Day to Set Some Public Goals!

Just for Fun

Accountability is a fabulous motivator. Having someone (or lots of someones) that you have to check in with on a regular basis and admit that, yeah, you slacked off on project x, y, or z makes you way less likely to actually slack off on project x, y, or z. I know it does for me, at least!

Why is this such a big motivator? Because we, as human, social creatures (even the introverts amount us are social creatures, our social just looks different than an extrovert’s social) crave approval by others. Even if we think we’re hot stuff and have an ego the size of Gibraltar, there’s someone whose disapproval or disappointment would crush us. So we work our tails off to report something positive, some sort of progress.

All that to say: I’m going to post some goals for the upcoming month and see if that doesn’t help get ’em done! And you’re welcome to post your goals for August in the comments if you’d like to, and I’ll email you on September 1st to see how you did!

Personal Goals:

  1. Unpack the majority of the boxes from the move. I don’t expect to get them all done in a month (after all, I’ve lived places for multiple years only to move and find some boxes never got unpacked, it happens), I just want to be functionally unpacked by the end of the month.
  2. Plan our housewarming party! This is one of the big reasons for unpacking: we can start entertaining again. We want to do a sort of open house-style party on Saturday early in September, so that means planning it out this month and letting people know.
  3. Scrapbook 10 pages. That’s only 5, 2-page layouts, absolutely doable even if I were only to do a set a weekend.

Professional Goals:

  1. Keep up with the MIID Summer School assignments. Several months ago I signed up for all 3 tracks of Make It In Design’s summer school course to help beef up my portfolio a bit. The first creative briefs went out this week with 2 weeks to complete each assignment. I’ve also signed up for Lilla Roger’s Global Talent Search, the first round of which is this month.
  2. Redesign my online portfolio. Again, item 1 feeds into item 2. In June I took Tara Reed’s Art Licensing Academy course as it (licensed art) is something I’ve wanted to get into for a while. July was consumed by the move, so now it’s time to apply what I’ve learned both in putting together my work into collections and making my website licensing-friendly.
  3. Finish (?) the substitutions supplement for What to Feed Your Raiding Party. This one’s a bit on the lofty side, but it’s a project I’ve been picking at for over a year and it just needs to get done! Plus it’s good to have at least one goal that’s going to be a bit of a stretch–if everything is too simple it’s easier to put it all off. I designed “worksheets” to make sure I’ve got the options I need for each recipe in the book, now I just need to actually use them. Once this is done then I can start the real work on the first sequel to the book.

Of course there’s a lot of day-to-day stuff that will be going on in between all of the above. I wish I only had 6 things to concentrate on this month! Hah! I’ve got a bunch of books that still need reviewing (but first I have to unpack them), my usual posting over here, the rinse and repeat repetitiveness of the day job, and spending time with Todd. And if any client work pops up, illustrations or otherwise, then I’m always open for that!

Here’s to a shiny, new month filled with possibilities!

The Other Side of Ambition

Creative Business

It was late one Sunday morning not too many weekends ago. I’d slept in after a long week and a busy Saturday and woke up not feeling so well. My head was stuffy, my throat was sore, it was the usual precursor to an out-of-season cold and I decided that everything on my to-do list was getting pushed. I camped out on the sofa and binge-watched season 2 of Orange is the New Black.

Now, I still think this was the correct course of action to take: my body was telling me I needed rest. Next to planning downtime to prevent it in the first place, it was the best thing to do in the interest of self care.

Self care. Taking care of ourselves. It’s a big buzzword (buzz phrase?) among Internet entrepreneurs and I’m a big proponent of it.

Which is why I was surprised to notice, as the afternoon wore on, that I was apologizing for not being up and doing something when Todd got home from the grocery store.

Now, keep in mind that Todd had not said one word about me taking the day “off,” other than asking if he could get me anything or making sure I was tucked in sufficiently on the sofa. Aka: standard Jenn’s-run-down procedure (that there is even a procedure tells me I let this happen too often, as it is). And I wasn’t apologizing in words, necessarily, it was my body language that I noticed: head down, shoulder’s drawn in, small steps–my way of trying to blend in to the wallpaper and not be noticed, a trait I developed as a kid when the parents were fighting.

Where was this guilt coming from?!

Because the deeper I looked, that’s what this was: guilt. Specifically guilt over not working every waking moment to achieve my personal goals. Those goals that keep me up and busy every evening and most weekends. Those goals that have me spending 99% of my vacation time working weekend conventions to sell my book.  Those goals that will one day enable me to check out from the day job and support myself with my writing and art skills.

Those goals are a bit of a task master!

And that’s when I realized that guilt is the other side of ambition, the shadow of our dreams of greatness (or even just better-ness) that will rob us of our very souls before we reach our goals. The idea that we’re only fully-committed to those goals if we’re actively working on them 24/7. But what good is working 24/7 if you’re too tired and burned out to enjoy it?

So that was the script I had to flip: it wasn’t enough to acknowledge the good of self care without writing myself a virtual permission slip. And the terms of the permission slip needed to be exact, to include the words ‘and feel no guilt’ about taking time to rest and recuperate as needed.

The next few weeks are going to be hectic. The move is coming up so there’s packing to do and the new house to prepare. I’ve got some deadlines to meet and some client work to keep up with. There’s still the day job, of course, and whatever else inevitably comes up as it seems to do with greater frequency if you’re already busy. Finding the time to rest and recharge is going to be tough.

But not impossible.

Instead of shutting the laptop at 11pm each night, maybe I’ll stop at 10:30. Maybe we’ll get take-out a night or two over the next couple of weeks to save us both the time or preparing and cleaning up from a meal. Maybe I say to hell with the mountain of boxes on Sunday afternoons and go take a bubble bath with a nice glass of wine. It might only buy me a half an hour in any given direction, but those half-hours will add up, and maybe I’ll avoid waking up some Sunday morning in the future with a headache, a sore throat, and a general feeling of malaise.

Is there a specter of guilt standing in the shadow of your ambition? Time to shine a light on it!

That’s All That Matters…

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning
Leaving a message on a mirror with lipstick

image via stock.xchng | photography by melodi2

If you read any number of wedding blogs, wedding magazines, wedding books or anything else bridal, I’m sure you’ve come across something like the following: Don’t worry about Uncle Bob’s bad dancing/the boutonnieres being wrong/the fight with your bridesmaids/etc. because, at the end of the day, as long as you end up married, that’s all that matters.

Yes and no.

If all I wanted was a signed legal document proclaiming our lives contractually linked, I could have gone down to the courthouse and had that in about 15 minutes (Florida’s 3-day wait after getting the certificate excluded).

But that’s not all that matters.

Getting married is one thing, having a wedding is a whole ‘nother thing entirely. A wedding is a tiny bit ceremony and a huge bit celebration. As the bride (and together with the groom), I’m hosting one hell of a party. And when it comes to parties? Details matter.

Uncle Bob’s bad dancing notwithstanding, those little details that you’re supposed to just blow off because they’re not important? Gee, thanks for telling me that the 6 months I spend hand-making paper flowers for bouquets, bouts and centerpieces doesn’t matter. That the menu I worked diligently on with the caterer doesn’t matter. That the friendships that have flourished or floundered over this 2 year period don’t matter.

Now, I know good and well that there comes a point in every party where you decide that certain things are good enough or other things just aren’t going to get done. And you’re okay with that because enough items on the list did get accomplished and most people aren’t going to know or notice.

In my circle we call this pressing the Fuqit! button.

But those details? They matter! Otherwise they would have been taken off the massive to-do list well before the week or day of the wedding. The end result may be the same–you and your mister are hitched–but those details make the difference between your guests merely witnessing the signing of a contract between two people and celebrating the union of two lives with all their passions and quirkiness.

So don’t dismiss your desires quite so quickly, brides and grooms of the 21st century. Know what’s important, yes. Know what’s worth fighting for (figuratively, at least). And know what’s worth letting go if it really comes down to it.

But don’t say it doesn’t matter.

 Have your say: What oft-repeated wedding phrases get under your skin?