rings

Getting Ready for the Ring

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

The great thing about knowing (or at least supposing) that a proposal is on it’s way is that it gives you a chance to prepare for it. And if I learned anything from my early years as a Girl Scout, it’s that being prepared rocks!

I was kind of lucky in this regard. Not only did I know that the ring was due back from being sized at pretty much any moment, but I’d recently been brushing up on my manicure skills in preparation for showing off my new something blue. Because, let’s face it, your hands are never on display as much as when you first get engaged. Even if you’re not wearing a ring people are going to look, just in case, because we’re all-but programmed to do it!

So swing into the nearest nail place at your local strip-mall and pay $20 to get a basic manicure. Or stop by the local drug store and pick up some cuticle oil, orange sticks and a nail file and DIY it. This doesn’t mean that you have to go out and get acrylic nails if you’ve never wanted them before. Nor does it mean you even have to get a colored polish if you prefer the low-maintenance au naturel look.

But smoothing out the edges, maybe evening-up the lengths, and trimming your cuticles (at least push them back) will give you a nice, clean look that won’t have you hiding your hands from curious congratulators. And if you don’t want polish but do like a little bit of shine, try a 4 step nail buffer and buff your natural nails to a serious shine without a drop of polish required. I also really recommend a parafin dip (either at the salon or at home) for extra smooth hands.

Once there’s an engagement ring on your finger there are a whole new range of movements your fingers and wrist will go through just trying to show of that bit of bling. Or, you know, move it so the light catches each of the facets just so.

Come on, I can’t be the only women to fall prey to the siren spell of sparkle, can I?

illustration via Miss Road Trip

a few wrist warm-ups for showing off the sparkle

In the interest of avoiding repetitive stress injuries, I’ve come up with these three exercises that should have you in fine form for when he slips that ring on your finger!

The Show Off

Start with your forearms at a 45° angle from your elbows and your palms facing forward. Even though only one hand gets the pleasure of a ring, we don’t want uneven arms, do we? Go ahead and practice with both hands at the same time.

Raising your arms slightly, flex your hands down into the quintessential show-off position. Return to your starting position.

For advance bling-bringers, extend your arms up and out as you flex your hands in a move we’ll call the Marilyn.

If your ring hasn’t been sized, yet, and it’s a little loose, make sure to keep your pinky–maybe even your middle finger, too–close to your ring finger as you flex to keep the bauble from gravity’s greedy clutches.

The Hello

With your forearms and hands creating a single line nearly perpendicular to the floor spread your fingers and rotate your hands at the wrist, bringing pinkies around the front and in towards each other and return to your starting position.

The Jazz Hand

Arms relaxed, hands can be just about anywhere, spread those fingers out and give them all a good wiggle.

Again, if your ring is loose, keep those fingers pointed up to prevent slippage.

Also, the Jazz Hand can be combined with the Hello for maximum eye-catching sparkle effect. Use it wisely.

Disclaimer: I’m not a physical therapist, so take these “exercises” with the grain of salt and handful of humor they were given.

Come on, fess up: You tried them, didn’t you?

The ‘OMG, This Is It!’ Moment

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning
Silhouette of a figure jumping against a blue-sky background

image via stock.xchng | photography by asifthebes

By fall of 2011, the Road Trips were firmly in the “we have an understanding” period of pre-engagement. We easily talked about ideas for the wedding and laughed at the antics of the Bridezillas on WE’s Wedding Sunday shows. I was devouring wedding planning books and magazines like they were going out of style–after so many years of thatain’tevergonnahappenagain I was intent on making up for lost time, apparently.

We’d seen a commercial for a Bridal Show in mid-September but I was in the middle of something and didn’t catch the url to order tickets. Mr. RT had, though, and ended up ordering the tickets for us that week.

(Now, we’re not the type to really keep score or anything, but if we were, T would have earned major brownie points on that one. I’m still grateful and amazed at his enthusiasm for wedding planning.)

At any rate, we attended the show, enjoyed ourselves, got several tips and ideas from the various vendors, and signed up for every drawing or mailing list there was. Hey, we’ve got 2 years to go and nothing set in stone, yet, but the date–we were up for almost anything.

Imagine my surprise when, a couple days later, I get a call from a jewelry store that T had talked to about maybe designing a ring for me: I’d won a prize from the Belle Etoile collection they carried! Since T had wanted to stop by their store, too, he went with me to pick up my prize that Saturday (I chose the Art Deco ring–which wasn’t really what I won, but they let me “exchange” it and pay the difference) and he browsed while I shopped. Nothing in their cases really appealed to him (style- or price-wise) so we left and I not-so-subtly suggested we go ring-browsing since that’s sorta what we planned to do anyway!

(Yes, I realize I was sort of failing on that “I don’t want to pick it out” statement I’d made earlier on, but oh well.)

That’s when Todd tells me he’s got a ring in mind, at a jewelry store in the mall, but he wasn’t sure it was “enough” for me. But maybe if I wanted to see it, I could decide if I liked it and, if so… well, that would be that and we’d make it official!

And there it was, the OMG, this is it! feeling. I think I blushed a bit, I know I had a goofy grin on my face and there were happy tears gathering in my eyes. I was giddy at the jewelry store. The ring was just right for what I wanted, T bought it and it was immediately sent off for sizing.

It wasn’t mine just yet, wouldn’t be for another week, but the moment was there.

Did you see the ring before the proposal?
Did you pick it out or let him choose?

If I Had $100 for Every Proposal I’ve Had…

64 Arts

I could pay off my two lowest-balance store cards.

No. Wait. If we include all the times the first guy asked me after he took it back, mid-planning-the-wedding, I could pay off my third store card.

Easily.

What have we learned so far?

  1. Scraps has been proposed to lots. (6 engagements before I was 26)
  2. Scraps recently totaled up her credit card debt. Ouch. (I can’t be the only one who glances at the account balance and concentrates on the available credit, right?)

And even the guys that didn’t propose, they liked to give out jewelry. Several of them liked rings, especially, and up until a recent purge of my bauble collection, I had all of them stored away.

I have a motto: Why waste good jewelry?

Of course, what makes a ring “good” or not, is largely a matter of taste.

 

Rings on a Mandrel

My Preciouses

Tastes Change

Growing up, I wasn’t the girl who fantasized about her wedding as much as I knew what sort (or shape) of diamond I wanted. Not something too fancy, a simple solitaire in a marquise shape on a gold band and I would be a happy girl.

The first of those engagement rings I received? Pear-shaped.

It wasn’t quite right, and neither was the boy. Though I wouldn’t believe it for quite some time and a repeat of the situation. Weren’t we all that way, once?

I did get that marquise-shaped diamond, eventually. Still have it, in fact, and one of these days I might get around to having it reset in something I’ll be able to wear.

Repeat after me: Why waste good jewelry?

But these days not only am I less enamored of diamonds in general (though, being my birthstone, it’s never a truly bad choice) but the “little boat” shape of the marquise does very little for me. In fact, I seem to be gravitating more to a square-shaped stones (maybe because it’s a shape not currently in my personal inventory).

Thinking Outside the Diamond

Thanks to DeBeers, a diamond is what most people expect when marriage is on the table and, let’s face it, society is changing but the engagement/wedding ring is still the most important piece of jewelry in many a girl’s life.

But there are options, ladies, and some worth serious consideration–even if you’re shopping for yourself, just because. We’re going to borrow those 4 c’s of diamond selection and take a walk on the wilder side of finger-wear.

Cut: Not the Same as Shape, But Who Cares?

In diamonds, cut refers to the number of planes and surfaces on the finished stone and is incredibly regimented. If you’re not shopping for a faceted stone or a major investment, cut isn’t going to matter as much to you as the shape.

Do you know what makes some of those stones so expensive? (Besides, of course, the marketing campaigns that convince us certain stones are “acceptable” and others aren’t.) The amount of work that goes into them (number of cuts) and the risk taken every time a cut is made–all that risk and money to take parts of it away!

That’s why, if you want more bang for your buck, looking at less-processed stones may fit your bill. You can find many semi-precious stones in all the major shapes (round, square, pear/teardrop, marquise, oval, etc.) as well as in unfinished states.

Color: All the Rainbow and Then Some!

While diamonds do come in other colors than white/clear (I’ve been known to drool over those chocolate diamonds, myself), they’re not as common as the clear version. With so many other options out there it seems almost foolhardy to limit yourself to just one stone.

Aside from the color of the stone(s), let’s talk about the settings and bands, as well. Gold and silver are your basics, with platinum making up the holy metal trinity. I used to wear gold pretty much all the time (and there used to be a rule about not mixing gold and silver but I think most folks ignore that these days) but something always bugged me: I could see the difference in color between 10K, 14K and 18K yellow gold.

And they clashed.

So I switched, several years back, to all silver (or white gold), all time time. Because sterling silver has pretty much one designation if it’s worth wearing: .925 and it all looks the same.

And, too, for the buyer on a budget, silver prices remain much more reasonable compared to the wildly escalating gold market.

Clarity: Know What You Want and Why

Again, in diamonds, clarity is a specific measure of the “identifying characteristics” of the stone–namely blemishes (outside) and inclusions (inside). And, of course, the fewer flaws the more valuable it is because the more rare is it.

But everyone has flaws, why shouldn’t our jewelry?

Those so-called “flaws” are what make us unique and a few inclusions here and a scuff or two there show a stone that is worn and loved and has been through a life.

Take my mainstay ring: the big teardrop lapis lazuli. Pyrite (fools gold) is a part of all lapis but many jewelers try to minimize the amount present. When I shop for pieces for myself, I’m on the lookout for the pyrite streaks–they show me it’s less likely to be a fake if present–and the deepest blue I can find.

I want a ring with some character, one I’m not afraid to wear for fear of messing it up. Kinda like the people I surround myself with: they’re all characters!

Carat: Size Matters, Am I Right?

Ah, the old quantity vs quality debate.

I think miniatures are amazing, truly breathtaking when done well. But small stones? Those chips are hardly worth the money you pay to have them set.

Those little diamond chips you see in some jewelry? Each one is a point (roughly 1/100 of a carat) and their resale value is absolutely pitiful. They don’t even sparkle enough on their own, they have to be set with plenty light-reflecting material around it to give the illusion of more carats than are really pleasant.

As much as I appreciate delicate craftsmanship, when I’m looking for a ring I’m looking to make a statement so I want something with a little size to it–either the stone or the setting or both. This is why I love that cocktail rings have come back in style in a big way.

Rings on Paper

Rings on Her Fingers

Rings on Her Fingers

For those of you who know I draw comics, too, you probably won’t be surprised that I made a comic (though not a mockery) of my ring-centric history with men. To understand just how I ended up so many proposals (but only 2 marriages and the divorces to match) and why Todd was told (in no uncertain terms) to never buy me a ring, head over to Cocktail Hour to read Rings on Her Fingers.

And, for those of you who’d like a signed copy of that story (professionally printed, 24 pages plus cover, I have about 16 in stock and no immediate plans for another print run) I’d be more than happy to sell you one. They are $5, payable by PayPal, and include mailing.


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