Highway to Happiness: A Little Dance

Wedding Recaps

Once our DoC introduced us and we entered the Owl’s Nest, we went straight into our first dance.

Considering we’d just spent 15 minutes (give or take) with all eyes upon us as we completed the marriage rites, I can’t explain why the same pairs of eyes watching us dance felt so awkward but it did. Still, I was glad that we decided to go ahead with the first dance and share that moment together and with our guests. I still love our song, as well, and it’s just another memory to call up when I hear it on my iPod.

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Blow me a kiss from across the room
Say I look nice when I’m not
Touch my hair as you pass my chair
Little things mean a lot

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Give me your arm as we cross the street
Call me at six on the dot
A line a day when you’re far away
Little things mean a lot

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Don’t have to buy me diamonds or pearls
Champagne, sables, and such
I never cared much for diamonds and pearls
’cause honestly, honey, they just cost money

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Give me a hand when I’ve lost the way
Give me your shoulder to cry on
Whether the day is bright or gray
Give me your heart to rely on

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Send me the warmth of a secret smile
To show me you haven’t forgot
That always and ever, now and forever
Little things mean a lot

And with that, we could sit down and truly relax for a bit! (After scurrying down the front steps and up the back steps to get to our seats–it was just too crowded on either side of the table to move around them and I wasn’t exactly in the mood to climb under a table, even in my less-bulky outfit.)

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Highway to Happiness: Presto Change-o!

Wedding Recaps

After we’d hugged our last guests on their way to the Owl’s nest, we hopped in the waiting golf cart and scooted on down to our cottage to take those posed getaway pictures that we’d wanted to do earlier. All’s well that ends well, yes?

But is that the only reason we stepped away for a moment? Not hardly. I had a wardrobe change to make!

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See, about 3 weeks before the wedding (while I was home, alone, bored out of my mind, and energy-sapped from the untimely bout of pneumonia) I had mustered up enough energy to try on my wedding dress to check how much to hem my crinoline. Sitting down for a bit, still in the dress, I realized that I wasn’t really interested in sitting in a boned bodice for the duration of our brunch–it wasn’t that it was truly uncomfortable, just that it was structured and I don’t often wear super-structured clothing. And then there was the unfortunate habit of boned bodices to scootch up into your armpits the longer you sit in them.

And that’s how I became a 2-dress bride at the very last minute!

I’d ordered a total of three dresses to choose from, returned one as soon as it arrived and kept a second one that was cute, just not right for the reception. The “winning” dress was a simple, flowy empire-waist taupe dress from Jessica London that matched my shoes pretty spot-on, and had some satin details to keep it from being too plain. It worked fairly well with the cardigan, too, and was incredibly comfortable, especially after the confines of the big, poofy ceremony dress.

After finishing up our getaway pictures I dashed inside and, while I didn’t time it, made what I’m sure is the quickest dress change outside of musical theatre or runway shows. Roadie came in with a question from the photographer if we wanted one more photo before I changed and I was already 3/4 done–I didn’t want to keep our guests waiting any longer than necessary!

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Highway to Happiness: The Group Hug

Wedding Recaps

With a big, happy sigh of relief we made our way over to the pathway between the fountain and the Owl’s Nest to hold our informal receiving line.

All photos courtesy of Pink Shutterbug Photography

All photos courtesy of Pink Shutterbug Photography

Since our families followed us out, they were the first to make it to us and something very unexpected happened:

It went from Congratulations to GROUP HUG in a fraction of a second.

It went from Congratulations to SWARM! in a fraction of a second.

A big, noisy, gigantic bear hug from the lot of them!

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Even though a receiving line was not part of our original plan, I’m very glad we decided to add it to the schedule. Not only did it help move people in the right direction, as planned, but it also made up for the earlier lack of being able to greet them as they arrived and grab some photos together. So, yay for redundancies in the schedule and just yay in general for having a moment set aside to talk with each of our guests in turn.

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Of course our guest list was small and we certainly could have made the rounds between courses (at least in theory), it was reassuring to know that we could just kick back and relax during the reception.

So while our family and friends headed to the Owl’s Nest, we had one little side trip to make before we joined them…

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Highway to Happiness: The Rings and the Rest

Wedding Recaps

Since the vows were, of course, the only thing we didn’t go over as part of the rehearsal, after they were said the rest of the ceremony felt like a downhill slide all leading up to the kiss.

All images via Pink Shutterbug Photography

All images via Pink Shutterbug Photography

Jennifer and Todd will now exchange rings to symbolize their commitment. Rings are derived from humble beginnings of imperfect metal to create something striking where there was once nothing at all. It is customarily worn on the ring finger as it was believed that a vein ran straight from the fourth finger of the left hand to the heart. The wearing of the rings is a visible, outward sign that they have committed themselves to one another.

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We each, in turn, took our ring book, untied the ring and placed it on each other’s hand while repeating the following:

I offer this ring, symbol of unity and eternity,
as a token of the love I am declaring here today.
I offer with this ring my own commitment to you,
my loyalty and my love.
I promise to be a good partner for as long as love lasts.

Thanks to some very helpful commenters when I last posted about the wine blending, I’d stumbled across the perfect song for this part of the ceremony: Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes, the biggest challenge was deciding which version to go with. There were several instrumental and choir renditions out there, but the one I was most charmed by was by Johnny Cash. We’d put an explanation in the program about the ceremony, rather than have Friend-ficiant L have to narrate what we were doing, and it was a nice little pause.

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Then it was time for the final piece of the ceremony puzzle: the handfasting. Even though this is becoming more and more popular among today’s couples the majority of our guests had never witnessed it before. Everyone found it fascinating, though, so I guess that’s point for us for putting on a good “show” for our guests.

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Jennifer and Todd have chosen to conclude the ceremony with a handfasting. In centuries past, when towns were spread out and priests would travel from place to place, there wasn’t always an official handy when a couple wanted to be wed. Necessity being the mother of invention, couples would bind their hands together in a simple ceremony to declare their intentions, with the community as witness to the new union. This is where we get the phrase “tying the knot.”

In a collaborative effort not unlike the marriage we are here to witness, both Jennifer and Todd have had a hand in creating elements of this rite. Jennifer created the cord in the style of three intertwining vines, one each for the past, the present, and the future. Once tied these cords will reside in a wooden box Todd made specifically for this purpose and will have a place of honor in their home together.

Jennifer and Todd, please join hands, right to right and left to left, forming the symbol of infinity. Like a stone may your love be firm; like a star may your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Enjoy closeness, but retain your individuality. Support one another with patience and understanding. Freely give of your affection and warmth.

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May this cord draw your hands together in love, may the vows you have spoken today remain sweet in your mouths.

As your hands are joined, so are your lives.

By the power vested in me, and by the love you both possess and profess, I now pronounce you husband and wife. It is my great honor and privilege to be the first to present to you Todd and Jennifer [Road Trip].

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You may start your marriage with a kiss.

And there we were: married!

And there we were: married!

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Highway to Happiness: Our Ceremony Begins

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The great thing about having a friend perform your wedding ceremony is that it can be anything you want it to be. That’s also one of the down-sides, since it can literally be anything and where to begin can be a bit daunting (especially for a first-time officiant). The following ceremony has been cobbled together from half a dozen different sources (at least!), remixed and edited into something that suited us. I’ve transcribed the whole thing in this and the next post just in case someone finds something useful for creating their own ceremony.

Family and friends, we are all here today to celebrate the relationship of Jennifer and Todd and to be witnesses and supporters of the commitment they share with one another. Together we’re a group of the most important people in their lives and they’ve brought us here to publicly recognize that we’ve all played some special part in the love they share today.

Jennifer and Todd want me to thank you all for being here and to recognize how important each and every one of you is to their relationship. They would also like to recognize all of those who couldn’t make it here today as they are certainly missed but not forgotten on this day of celebration.

In marriage the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing together and facing the world. It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right partner — it is being the right partner .

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It was during that last paragraph that L got choked up again and Mom scooted around us to hand her a tissue.

The road that has brought Jennifer and Todd here today hasn’t been easy. It’s been filled with challenges that they weren’t necessarily prepared for, both separately and together. But they’ve taken each one on and have used those experiences to strengthen, not weaken their love.

Freind-ficinant L: Do you, Todd, welcome Jennifer as your wife, offering her your love and encouragement, your trust and respect, as together you create your future?

Todd: I do

Friend-ficiant L: Do you, Jennifer, welcome Todd as your husband, offering him your love and encouragement, your trust and respect, as together you create your future

Jennifer: I do

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At this time, we invite selected family members to recite the four elemental blessings.

 

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Mama Leadfoot: These are the blessings of the elements of air: may you always share ideas, tell each other your dreams, and appreciate each other’s intelligence. The gift of air is communication.

Dr. Aunt: These are the blessings of the element of fire: may you always find inspiration in each other, find the energy you need to support each other, and have faith in your relationship. The gift of fire is passion.

MiL Road Trip: These are the blessings of the element of water: may you offer each other compassion, may you wash away hurts and share each other’s joy. The gift of water is love.

FiL Road Trip: These are the blessings of the element of earth: may you never want for food or shelter, may you thrive in health and enjoy the good things of the earth. The gift of earth is the material world.

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Jennifer and Todd, the vows that you are about to make are a way to share your love and commitment to each other in your own words. Sometimes poems, verses and quotes just don’t get the point across the way you need them to and the best option is just to do it yourself. These vows are your way of openly declaring your promise to one another as well as to all of those who are here in attendance today.

Jennifer, ladies first.

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Todd, before I met you I had come to the conclusion that marriage just wasn’t for me, that I just wasn’t any good at it. And you know full well that I didn’t change my opinion until several years together had passed. But you never pushed, never tried to convinced me, you just showed me day after day that you were different. That our relationship was different. And that when I was with you, I was different, too; different because I never had to be anything other than myself for you to love me.

Several years ago, the night before I was going to have surgery, I was understandably concerned about what was going to happen the next day. I admitted to feeling more than a little wobbly over it all. You pulled me close to you and you said ‘you can have some of my strength.’ Over the years you have continued to offer me a strong, broad shoulder to lean on when tired or sad. You always seem to make me laugh over the silliest things, and your calm, easy-going way helps balance my intense need for control. In your arms I feel safe and cherished. And I continue to be grateful for your willingness to go along with my latest, sometimes hare-brained, ideas.

Today I promise to do everything in my power to make you smile each day, to greet you with a hug and a kiss when we’ve been apart, and to always hold your hand as we face whatever the world has waiting for us just around the next curve. I will never tell you you have too many comics or games. I will always support your endeavors and encourage you to try new things.

With you I’ve learned the beauty of not planning everything out as far as the mind could see, of just letting the days come of their own accord and with no expectations. With you by my side I’ve accomplished things I’d onlly dreamed about, and am continually humbled by your faith in me.

It’s hard to believe that six years ago today you arrived at my apartment and forever changed what I knew to be true about my life. I’ve never been so happy to be wrong.

There were the expected chuckles at both “hare-brained ideas” (notably from my boss) and the end bit about being wrong, but there were also a number of audible sniffles during both of our vows and the rest of the ceremony. I was right there with them, though–I may not have teared-up myself, but I did have to take a couple of deep breaths at points to keep my composure.

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Jennifer, for many years now I have admired your beauty, your intelligence, your kindness, and for the way you always know how to make me feel so special. So on top of all the other vows I will make to you today, I also vow to always appreciate how lucky I am to have someone who makes me feel the way you do and to continue to try as hard as I can to make you feel as special as you make me feel, forever and ever.

And so…

  • I vow to fill your ‘I Love You’ bank every day.
  • I promise to keep a shoulder available if crying becomes necessary, and embracing arms for when it’s done.
  • I vow to snuggle with you as often as possible.
  • I promise to kill any insects that wander into our home.
  • I vow to never take your love for granted.
  • I promise to always respect you.
  • I vow to make you really really laugh out loud.
  • I promise to always try one bite of every meal you create (unless it’s make with peanut butter).

But most of all, I vow to love you under any circumstances; happy or sad, easy or difficult, through the sunshine and through the rain, for the rest of our days. I am an extremely lucky man, and I couldn’t imagine growing old with anyone else.

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I transcribed these from the notecards we used during the wedding but I could swear there was something about a monkey at every birthday in his vows, as well.

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